What is a Gift?
Well, according to www.dictionary.com, one of the definitions of a gift is
something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
OK, that is a dictionary definition. I'd like to expand a little more as to what a gift is to me. A gift is something of value that you give to improve or enhance someone's life. A gift can sometimes cost money, but sometimes it's free like a hand-made card, a picked flower, a poem, etc.
So, gifts to me are present in our everyday lives. We need only recognise them to know how blessed we are.
Why are People Out Shopping for Gifts this Time of Year?
I
think that "gift-giving" has become customary during this time of year,
at least in North America. It's sometime that has been programmed into
our society.
I
remember my first Christmas in Canada when I was a little girl. I had
no previous concept of Christmas and what it was about. One day I
received a present in a box. It was from my second cousin, O (my
father's father's sister's son - someone help me out here with the
relationship). I was so excited at the whole experience. I quickly
opened the box and found a set of winter gear: a scarf, hat and mittens
(they were mostly white). Oh, I was ecstatic and bursting with
excitement and gratitude! I dialed O's
number, and when I got him on the phone I poured out my thanks in
Chinese (I hadn't learn English yet), and he laughed saying I was
welcome.
Every
year after that, my second cousins would buy me and my sister
something. One year, they bought us a game to share (a Guess Who? board
game), and my sister and I failed to share. We were starting to expect
"gifts". Not
only that, the expectation of having to give "gifts" (as well as
wrapping them) was also instilled. Quickly, we were programmed to buy
gifts because we knew that others would buy for us. And if your gifts
were perceived to be cheap, you would also be perceived this way.
Every Christmas, it would be the same "gifts" that I would wrap and give to the same people (perhaps with a different wrapping paper): Chinese sausages, dried shiitake mushrooms, white snow ears, ginsing, egg rolls and sometimes Ferrero Rocher. I quite enjoyed my task of wrapping the boxes up. The children, my sisters and cousins and I would received red lucky envelopes from the China-born adults, but receive a wrapped up present (a very thoughtful present) from Canadian-born adults.
I remember Christmas' being a very exciting time of the year when we would gather the families into my great aunt's house and then later my second cousin's house. I loved the food, the decoration, relatives, the presents... but I really loved the food!
Over the years as an adult having gone away for school, living and working abroad I've come to understand that I have different values about Christmas gifts or presents (something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance). And this helps me to be aware of what my children are learning about gifts.
What I Want My Children to Learn About Christmas Presents
It's the Thought that Counts!
Everything
begins with a thought. Someone has to think of getting you a gift
before the gift arrives. This thinking of you is the true gift! My
daughter will dance and say the sweetest things when she receives a
dress, a toy that she likes. And this puts such a smile and happiness
in he giver's eyes. But what if she doesn't like something? Typically,
the present just gets ignored.
I wouldn't force
her to like something she doesn't, but I would encourage her to gives
things a chance. I'm also learning. And I would also encourage her to
acknowledge the person who is thinking of her. I would ask a question
like, "if you gave your friend _________, a gift, and she didn't like
it, what would you want her to say to you?" She may say, "thank you for
thinking of me. I understand your thoughtfulness."
People
are more important than the material presents. Always know that there
are people behind the physical presents. It's not how much it costs
that matters.
Give From a Place of Love
I
want my children to know the difference between giving out of fear
(social expectations) and giving from love. Right now, as long as I
just let my child flourish, she is perfectly giving from a place of
love. But she's also at a critical age where she starts learning about
social expectations from school.
Every
day, my daughter would routine pick up rocks and pine cones from her
walk between home and school. She would draw pictures and makes crafts
for intended receivers such as for me, for her dad, for a friend...
Children are just giving all the time! And they are thoughtful. They
want to please. They want to do something to cause someone else to be
happy.
Children
are such gifts! I am learning from mine all the time. There are
infinite possibilities for Christmas gifts. I would just want my kids
to know that giving doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of money, but
it could. Get to know what the receiver is like, what he/she
likes/needs/wants... then create something or buy something.
Alternative Gift-Giving Ideas
Make Your Own Gifts
I
LOVE doing this with my kids. And before I had kids, I LOVED making
gifts. This is the one season when you can have lots of fun creating
cards, the packaging, decorations and the list goes on. It's crafty
month all December.
Re-Gift
This is somewhat controversial, and perhaps I could spend a whole separate post on it. But just briefly, say you received a gift from someone that just isn't useful for you. Would you keep it because it was given to you to just sit somewhere collecting dust as it expires? Or would you happily give it to someone else who would be happy to receive it?Well, I'd also say that the receiver of the re-gift should be open to receiving previously given gifts. Isn't this just common sense? For some reason (and please do write a comment below about this) many people think that it's a no-no. Why?
Buy From Thrift Shops
Often
there are really great deals at second-hand places. What I like about
this is that "old" things can get a new home for a fraction of the
price. Sometimes there are collectors items that you can't get anywhere
else. Of course the receiver of the gift should be open to this idea.
Non-Material Gifts
When
I was in university, one of my friends gave me a "breakfast
certificate". She made me a card saying it was a certificate that I
could trade in for breakfast at her house. What an awesome idea!
Spending time together with a friend. Babysitting certificates would
really make busy parents happy. A personal massage certificate would
please those with aches. A chore certificate would be sure to light up a
face with a big smile... you get the gist.
Gift ideas that Appeal to me
- Useful, educational, inspirational, practical, delicious, nutritious
- Little impact to the Earth (like responsibly packaged, can be reused, recycled, etc.)
Wishlist
I think it's a great idea to have wishlists
for givers to have an idea of what the receiver would appreciate. The
most practical presents, should anyone wish to gift me, are gift cards
for Amazon.ca, President's Choice grocery stores and FreshCo.
So,
it's a practical idea to just ask parents of children what they would
like. Gift cards are great when you know where the people shop.
Wishing you the most precious gifts this Holiday Season. Thank you. With much love,
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