How to Get Your 4 Year Old to go to Bed on Time (part 2)

Finally, the last two evenings have been void of crying, whining and pure difance when it comes to washing up and going to bed.  Why?  What has changed since my last posting on this subject?

Stop Doing What Doesn't Work

We've tried many different ways of getting our four year old to go to bed for 8PM.  I've tried making a sticker reward schedule.  It worked for about two nights and two mornings, but it didn't continue as it just took up too much energy and enthusiastic nagging. 

We've tried physical manipulation (something I really try to avoid) when it was just getting too late, but she just screamed and physically refused (you know the arched back, the flopping and pushing away, closing her mouth tight, etc.). 

We've  tried just letting her stay up late, but she'd still go into other rooms and make noise so that others couldn't sleep or do other things. 

We've tried asking her.  We've tried telling her to wash up for bed... and more often than not, she would just say she didn't want to, and would occupy herself with something interesting.

So, if I've learned anything, these things don't work:  physical manipulation, bribing (like the reward board), nagging, commanding, and getting frustrated.  We've tried these on many many occasions enough to conclude that they are not effective. 

Fun and Motivation

Everyone loves fun, but different people are motivated by different things.  My little one is a pretty bright one, and she loves it when she helps solve problems.  It's fun for her.  So this is what I created...

Creative Bedtime and Wash-Up Routine

Sunday Evening

7:09 PM - Daddy laments that it's too late for Little Sister to wash her hair.  I look a the clock and tell him that it's possible for her to wash up and we in bed for 8:00.  Daddy doesn't think it's possible, but he says that I can try.
7:10 PM - I am breastfeeding the baby while suggesting a fun challenge to Little Sister (LS) who is eating a banana for supper (that's topic for another posting).  With excitement and enthusiasm, I point out to LS that's it's 7:10 PM, and Daddy doesn't think we can wash our hair, wash up and be in bed by 8:00. 

Me:  Little Sister, Remy is in the bath right now, but he will be done at 7:30.  Daddy doesn't think we can wash our hair and be in bed for 8:00.  I think we can do it!  What do you think?

LS:  Yeah.  (Takes a bite of her banana)

Me:  (Pretending to be thinking hard)  OK.  What things do we have to do, then?  Let me see... first  we need to take off our clothes, brush our teeth, go in the shower...

LS:  Wait!  We need to go pee in the toilet!

Me:  Oh, yes... OK, first we take off our clothes, use the toilet, then brush our teeth and go to bed.

LS:  No!  (chuckling a bit)  We gotta wash our hair and dry it first.

So, she helps me figure out the sequence of the tasks that need to be done prior to her getting into bed for 8:00.  Once we establish which tasks are on the unwritten agenda, I get moving.  I finish breastfeeding and put the baby down (grateful that he's quiet), and start the momentum (this creates a lot of fun for her) of moving a little faster putting things away from her bed, getting her pyjamas ready, getting the towels, etc. 

7:30 PM - Remy comes out of the bathtub and we race in.  Actually, we brush our teeth while he's getting out of the draining bath!  No time to lose. 

7:35 PM - we're inside the shower washing with shampoo and shower gel.  We rinse and towel dry.  (it's like the amazing race)

7:48 PM - we've managed to towel dry and put on our pyjamas.  Now we dry our hair.  LS sits down on a chair as I blow dry (this is historically as really challenging task as she would wander and refuse).  We keep looking at the clock and make exclamations of the time...

7:59 PM - LS is in bed, we call Daddy in.  Her hair is dry and ready to go to bed with lights off.  Daddy comes in holding an awake baby.  He is in pleasant disbelief.  Then the whining surfaces just for a second.

LS:  Daddy, I still not tired!

Daddy:  Tell you what.  Since you've been so good, I'll read you a bedtime story after I put Remy to bed.

LS agrees, and the lights go off.

Monday Evening

Daddy has taken Remy out for a bike ride just after supper.  LS and I (while breastfeeding) are finishing up supper.  I look at the clock.  it's 7:20 PM already!  I challenge LS:

Me:  Hey, LS, it's 7:20 PM.  Let's all take a shower before Brother gets home to use the bathtub.  You, Mommy and the baby.

LS:  OK!  Yeah, and the baby.

So, again I made it into a race adding elements of fun and motivation for her.  We finished probably at 7:30 PM just after they arrived home.  The bonus to this game was that I got maximized the shower time for cleaning three bodies at once.  The baby seem to have fun too.

Daddy was in pleasant shock again.  For the second day in a row, LS was happily washed up and
ready for bed before her brother!

I'm going to continue this routine and see how it goes. 

What crazy things have you tried to get your children to bed?  Leave me a comment!

Enjoy your day!